Going to pop soon!...

There's not much more stretching my belly can do - or at least that's how it feels! My belly button keeps getting shallower and shallower - today it's pretty much flat and starting to turn inside out. Does that mean the turkey's about done? Well I hope we make it to the end of March - but as soon as we pass that last week in March I am totally ready to meet Isabella! (Our birthing classes go until the end of March, and we are still interviewing pediatricians - it's been hard to get an appointment in before April.)

Here are the latest photos - taken yesterday, February 8th.

TRUTH: Chivalry is Dead

For any curious new pregnant ladies, or women for whom pregnancy may be on the horizon: If you think that your protruding pregnant belly and cute waddle will afford you extra politeness and courtesy from other people (strangers) you're WRONG. No, no, even the men will ignore your condition with absurd indifference.

Alex and I were waiting in line for something a few weeks ago, outdoors, and along the line were a few benches. Not a single person offered to get up for me. (Pictures will be posted soon to show how painfully obvious my pregnant belly is.) "In Mexico, every one of these guys would have gotten up for you by now," he commented. Yes, even young, military-level-fit men were sitting and pretending not to see me. It has also happened in restaurants waiting for our table. Normally I don't mind too much (Alex gets more disgusted than I do - I have less and less expectations of people as I get older haha). I don't expect the world to revolve around this baby bump just because my world does. But it is interesting to observe - they don't just not give way - they purposely avoid eye contact, as if they know they should offer to get up and feel bad not doing it - oh but not bad enough to do it.

Every day at work, walking on a (fairly wide) sidewalk, I always walk all the way to the right side of the walkway. People walking in groups or just walking in the middle generally don't want to give way. Men and women alike. Mind you, on one side of the sidewalk is bushes and on the other is sand. People unapologetically bump into me as we pass, or will only move more to their half of the sidewalk if I literally stop walking and stand still (even then they sometimes still bump into me). And when they do bump into me, about 50% of the time I'll get nasty looks, as if because I'm in uniform and at work, by default I should be the one to jump into the bushes to get out of their way.

Today at work on our trolley a man sat in the reserved-for-escort seat, and his 12ish-year-old son sat across the aisle from him directly behind the driver. Both chairs are designed to seat two people. When I asked them to sit together so that I could sit in my reserved-for-escort seat, both of them looked at me blankly at first and then grumbled. They were seated and I was standing during this short exchange, which put the Bella Belly more or less at eye-level. This was after I had seated myself on the ground of the trolley riding between one stop and the next to test if either one of them would move on their own.

I have joked that women want equal rights which apparently includes the death of the expectation that men will give up seats for us, open doors for us, blahblah. In general, I feel that chivalry like this is nice but more like a "bonus." It's just that sometimes it's amazing how completely self-centered and inconsiderate people can be, and knowingly so. Sad truth.

Isabella's first Punahou Carnival (sort of)!

This weekend is Punahou Carnival! Even though I don't want to send Isabella to Punahou (as if we could anyway), I do want her to experience Carnival every year, so this year I am going TWICE! Given my gastric limitations, I have to space out all the food I miss all year long and catch up on at Carnival.

Last night I went with Grace and Jess, and we met up with Christina and her mom for a little bit. This is literally what we did, in order, from when we got there, about 8:00, till closing at 11:00: Walk from the car up in Manoa, met with Christina, went to the bathroom (pregnant bladder, you know), bought and ate Taco Salad, bought and ate deep fried Oreos, got our faces painted, bathroom again, hand-dipped ice cream on the go, teriburgers, games. Grace got us addicted to game after game, first the Chip 2 Plates in 1 Throw game (we didn't win), then the Pop 3 in the Square dart game (we won a lot after we figured out how to cheat). But the night was mostly focused on food. Tonight I'm bringing tupperware for the Portuguese bean soup (thanks for the idea, Sari)!

Isabella seemed to love all the food I was crowding her with - and by that I mean it was worth fighting the crowds, allll the walking I was doing (on my feet all day at work, then walking all night - I EARNED all that junk food!), and the excruciating walk back UP to the car (parking above campus - what was I thinking?!), not to mention the gastric punishment I would suffer all night as the acid and reflux attacked despite downing Gaviscon and "sleeping" sitting up.

Funny, as we were weaving our way through the crowds I kept forgetting that the usual, turn-sideways-to-fit-through-a-narrow-gap-between-people strategy wouldn't really work for me - whoops I just got wider, not narrower! And Jess is so little I made her walk in front of me most of the time to "practice" not losing a child in the crowd! Haha, she wouldn't let me hold her hand though.

I will admit though, watching all the parents of young kids and babies - this is going to be my last stress-free Carnival...

Updates updates updates!

Quick updates! (Well, as quick as I can - you know me!)

We finished the walls in Isabella's wall - added pink trim. Also bought the frames for most of her wall art and printed the photos (we used our own photos). Just need to clean up, set up the crib, and hang the photos and I will post pictures of her room again!

We also got a new video camera with money and gift cards we got for Christmas from Mom and Nick and Uncle Bill! The Kodak Zi8 is similar to the new Flip pocket sized video camera. We're still learning how to use all of its functions, but so far it's pretty easy and intuitive. It's really light and about the size of a Blackberry Torch, so I think it will be really convenient for when Isabella is born. It turns on easily and is ready to shoot immediately and can be operated with one hand. It will be great for capturing short videos of her cute little moments. Below is a video I made practicing by recording Orange playing with his ball and getting agitated by the birds on our lanai.



We also went to Hilo (plane tickets were another gift from Mom and Nick for Christmas - thank you!) so the Dad and Nana and Cayla could see the Bella Bump and so Alex could meet my grandma and Aunty Felipa. We just went for the day (since we only have one day off together each week), and it was nice to spend time, talking story, catching up. We sure were tired when we came home at night though! One thing that was pretty hilarious - when my grandma saw me and asked if we had picked a name yet, and we told her, she made the most sour face! She did not like the name Isabella at all! I told her, "Grandma, you're the first person in the world that told us they didn't like it!" She couldn't really pinpoint why. And she wouldn't tell us what she would rather we name her - "No, no, the parents have to choose the name," she said over and over when we asked her. I suppose it would have been sort of insulting if she was more "aware" - she suffers from dementia. But because of her condition, we thought it was pretty funny.

We have another doctor appointment coming up soon, and lots to do to prepare for Isabella. I wonder if we'll get another ultrasound at all? I hope so! With so much left to do and so many things coming up (two baby class series start in March - Infant Care and Prepared Childbirth), it seems like the homestretch is going to go by quickly!

As much as I've ranted about random really tough things throughout the pregnancy, I do know that there is one thing I will totally miss about being pregnant: feeling her move all the time. It's this deep connection I feel every time I feel her move, even when I'm in the middle of doing something that takes almost all my attention, like at work for example. Feeling her move so often makes me feel like when she's born I won't want to be away from her ever! I know I'll be exhausted a lot, and probably will really crave some "me" time, but knowing me, I'll spend any moment away with at least half my mind on her - what is she doing, is she okay, how is she feeling, when can I get back to her...

And yet I can't wait till she's born and we start getting to know her! Will she be a girly-girl, or a tomboy? Will she be shy or outgoing? Will she like books and school as much as I did? Will she have as much attitude as I do (if she has half as much, Alex and I are in serious trouble!) or will she be easy-going? What other things have we not even imagined? It's exciting to wonder about, but we're also anxious!

Random food related things I have discovered - More TRUTH

Pregnancy really does change your tastes - we shall see if it is "permanent" - I have heard conflicting opinions on this.

Things I used to hate eating and now love:
Eggs. I eat eggs almost every day now. Without drowning them in ketchup or shoyu. Go figure.
Orange juice. In fact this morning I finished the carton of orange juice that was in the fridge that I'm sure Alex thought was "safe" from pregnant appetites. I've been raiding it just a little almost daily. :D
Brown rice. I could eat a ton of plain brown rice and be happy and I prefer it over white rice. Weeeiiirrdd..

Things I used to LOVE and now either don't like or I feel like, *shrug*:
Pickles. Early on I ate a pickle about three or four times a week, and now, I have no desire for pickles at all.
Popcorn. DON'T tell my Mom or Grandma! I might be removed from the family... :P Anyway I still eat it at the movies and it's still good..just not like before, when I could wait anxiously all day to eat popcorn as a meal!

Things I liked before but now "need" nearly every day or at least several times a week:
Peanut butter. I am on my third or fourth jar since becoming pregnant. Peanut butter alone got me through my first trimester - I am sure I would have been severely protein deficient without it. Thank you Marcellus Gilmore Edson of Montreal (he was the first person to patent what became known as Peanut Butter).
Chocolate. I liked it before but I think about it constantly now. Like from when I wake up till when I go to sleep.
Bananas. Which is useful because supposedly it reduces heartburn.
Insane amounts of cold water. I am almost ALWAYS thirsty. It becomes an internal debate - If I drink more water now, in 20 minutes I'll have to pee AGAIN...
Whole wheat breads. Toast, English muffins, even bagels. Yummmm...

Things I still love but I can't have (heartburn and reflux is a more convincing deterrent than gestational diabetes - I know that's bad but it is the TRUTH):
Garlic in any amount. Which eliminates a good portion of my diet. I am only now learning to cook without garlic; never before have I realized how much I used it as a seasoning on par with salt and pepper.
Bacon. This is truly tragic and agonizing for me. And confusing because Portuguese sausage doesn't have the same effect and it's spicy and just as greasy. And so sad because you can't make Portuguese sausage chocolate cupcakes, or Portuguese sausage-egg-and-cheese bagels, or PLTs.
Asparagus. It doesn't hurt but it sure does reflux.
Milk after about 2 or 3pm. Strangely, yogurt, cheese, ice cream and other dairy is still okay.

As if, of all people, I needed another reason to obsess over food!

Painting Isabella's Room

We painted the baby room today! It is very green. We chose green because we couldn't see ourselves painting an entire room pink or lavendar, and green is rumored to make people happier. And smarter, says Alex. So, it is extremely green right now. But with furniture and other accessories it will be less overwhelmingly green. We really like the color, anyway. Bright and happy, soft and baby, nice to look at. Here are some pictures:

Religion and spirituality

One of the things that Alex and I have talked about (and are completely on the same page about, luckily) is our stance on religion, spirituality, God and how a child learns about all these things. Both of us come from Catholic families who sort of tried to raise us as Catholics but weren't entirely enthusiastic about the follow through. We were both baptized, both of us had first communion, both of us went to Catechism ("Sunday School"). That was about as far as it went. I went to a private school that was Protestant in foundation but more secular and "spiritual" than religious. "Chapel" was a weekly event at my school, where scripture was read and the Lord's Prayer sang together, but where the Catholic equivalent of the homily - where the scripture is interpreted and applied to our relevant life - was the main focus.

The result of the half-finished religious educations for both of us was at least a frame of reference from which to view other religions and from which to experience other forms of spirituality - and a decided resolve that while we believe in God, we do not believe the Catholic Church is the only way nor the best way to experience closeness with God. (For me, the label "God" is simply comfortable and convenient - I do not imagine a necessarily fatherly figure, or a Christian person with flowing robes, nor do I imagine, really, anyone in particular. It is just easier to pick a name of some sort for now, rather than coming up with some all-encompassing, descriptive and "accurate" name - especially since God cannot be described so easily.)

I feel lucky that I stumbled into a Philosophy minor in college; the classes exposed me in an objective way to Eastern religions, faiths, and philosophies which I personally find more useful and relevant in any pursuit of closeness with God and application to making life more meaningful.

So my point is that we're in agreement that we don't want Isabella to be raised within any particular religion. We both feel that we are able to have a personal relationship with God and Spirit because of our rather fragmented religious experiences, but that we are very determined that Isabella should choose her own path in this matter. If she grows up and wants to be a very devout Catholic, and that brings her peace and helps her be close with God and guides her morally, then that's great. If she grows up and decides that Buddhism is the way she feels most comfortable pursuing spirituality, then that's great too. As it goes with really any religion she might discover suits her, or if she, like us, decides she doesn't need a specific doctrine to feel spiritually healthy.

But how does a child choose if they don't have a starting point? We both started with Catholicism and decided what we liked and didn't like about it and went from there. A child can't choose their path to spirituality if they are never placed at the beginning of the journey.

And does choosing bits and pieces from different faiths and practices really just turn out to be a cop out? I, personally, think the Lord's Prayer is absolutely touching and true and so I take that from the Christian world. But I also feel that the practice of meditation found in many Eastern religions and sects is much more effective in spiritual growth as well as in moral guidance than going to church could ever be. Am I just picking and choosing what is convenient or easier for me?

I digress. Our hope for Isabella is that she will find "God" in her own way - whatever is most comfortable and most successful for her. I am impressed by the Amish practice to let their youth go out and experience the non-Amish "outside" world for as long as they feel they need to - the majority of these young adults do choose to return to the austere Amish experience and faith, even after experiencing all the pleasures and temptations of the contemporary world. Likewise, we want to find a way that both gives her a starting point like we had, and also gives her the freedom to question it.