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Saturday, December 26, 2015
Sunday, December 20, 2015
#Kaneohe Christmas Lane #christmas #lights #tistheseason #monsterblog
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Friday, December 18, 2015
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Saturday, November 21, 2015
Sunday, November 15, 2015
As a Woman
Dear Isabella,
I was walking from our apartment to Longs just now and I had to walk past a group of men. They weren't particularly menacing, and yet, they didn't feel totally harmless. And then I realized, to a woman walking alone, a group of men never feels 100% harmless no matter how well dressed, well educated or well mannered they seem. Age doesn't matter either - old men, young men, even teen boys provoke this uneasy feeling.
I realized that in dealing with a situation like this it has become second nature to me - and doubtless most other women - to instantly evaluate my own posture, pace, facial expression, awareness. An encounter like this happens basically any time I am walking alone - day, dusk, or night.
A woman must check herself at all times, but especially while walking alone or even as part of a pair. Too much bitchy resting face and you will be harassed to smile, or be asked what's wrong by strangers who at best just want to provoke a reaction. Too friendly, too smiley, and you become approachable and invite unwanted attention or worse. Too confident and you are inviting confrontation. Too timid and you appear to be easy prey.
When you are waiting in line or at a bus stop or anywhere that people mill about, you walk a fine line between being impolite, and being careful not to invite conversation that may start out as polite small talk and quickly escalate into unintentionally "giving the wrong idea." When you are walking and you hear footsteps behind you, you must instantly decide whether to turn around to see who it is - if you do, will you give the wrong impression? If you do, you will then have to immediately control your reaction no matter who it is. Either way, you must decide whether to pick up the pace, or keep your stride and "act natural." You might alter your route to find a more heavily populated path or to test whether the person is following you.
Almost every time, you will be fine. I personally have never been accosted. Chances are I won't be. However, in the past week alone, I have been catcalled from a passing car while waiting to cross the street near my office, endured suggestive and aggressive looks in the parking lot of Target, and today had to ignore the men I walked past as one whistled and another sucked his teeth at me. All of this before dark.
A man will never experience this, at least not on an almost daily basis.
I would hope and wish that by the time you grow up, our world will have changed so that you will not experience this either. But that is a futile wish. So how do I teach you to be on guard, yet maintain that pure kindness, openness, friendliness you have? An impossible task. I know that some of this wonderful innocence is a function of the fact that you are just four years old. But I also know that a lot of what makes you the beautiful person you are is your innate care for others, desire to engage, need to connect.
I cannot teach you how to steel yourself against a mean world yet urge you to keep yourself open. I hope that somehow as you grow you'll learn the delicate balance. I'm sorry that you will have to.
Love,
Mommy
I was walking from our apartment to Longs just now and I had to walk past a group of men. They weren't particularly menacing, and yet, they didn't feel totally harmless. And then I realized, to a woman walking alone, a group of men never feels 100% harmless no matter how well dressed, well educated or well mannered they seem. Age doesn't matter either - old men, young men, even teen boys provoke this uneasy feeling.
I realized that in dealing with a situation like this it has become second nature to me - and doubtless most other women - to instantly evaluate my own posture, pace, facial expression, awareness. An encounter like this happens basically any time I am walking alone - day, dusk, or night.
A woman must check herself at all times, but especially while walking alone or even as part of a pair. Too much bitchy resting face and you will be harassed to smile, or be asked what's wrong by strangers who at best just want to provoke a reaction. Too friendly, too smiley, and you become approachable and invite unwanted attention or worse. Too confident and you are inviting confrontation. Too timid and you appear to be easy prey.
When you are waiting in line or at a bus stop or anywhere that people mill about, you walk a fine line between being impolite, and being careful not to invite conversation that may start out as polite small talk and quickly escalate into unintentionally "giving the wrong idea." When you are walking and you hear footsteps behind you, you must instantly decide whether to turn around to see who it is - if you do, will you give the wrong impression? If you do, you will then have to immediately control your reaction no matter who it is. Either way, you must decide whether to pick up the pace, or keep your stride and "act natural." You might alter your route to find a more heavily populated path or to test whether the person is following you.
Almost every time, you will be fine. I personally have never been accosted. Chances are I won't be. However, in the past week alone, I have been catcalled from a passing car while waiting to cross the street near my office, endured suggestive and aggressive looks in the parking lot of Target, and today had to ignore the men I walked past as one whistled and another sucked his teeth at me. All of this before dark.
A man will never experience this, at least not on an almost daily basis.
I would hope and wish that by the time you grow up, our world will have changed so that you will not experience this either. But that is a futile wish. So how do I teach you to be on guard, yet maintain that pure kindness, openness, friendliness you have? An impossible task. I know that some of this wonderful innocence is a function of the fact that you are just four years old. But I also know that a lot of what makes you the beautiful person you are is your innate care for others, desire to engage, need to connect.
I cannot teach you how to steel yourself against a mean world yet urge you to keep yourself open. I hope that somehow as you grow you'll learn the delicate balance. I'm sorry that you will have to.
Love,
Mommy
Saturday, October 31, 2015
Keiki dance class at Xstatic Dance Studio all in their costumes earlier today #happyhalloween #dance #docmcstuffins #monsterblog
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Monday, October 12, 2015
This little girl thinks she's going to eat all this lol #girls #food #eggs #waffles #bacon #baconandeggs #family #monsterblog
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Friday, September 25, 2015
#tgif #friday #pizza #pizzanight #tomato #basil #mozzarella #homemade #gocheckumgocheckumgo #food #nomnom #yum #monsterblog
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Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Tuesday, September 8, 2015
Monday, August 24, 2015
"Caught" her reading to Pooh Bear and snapped this pic before she stopped. 💜 #monsterblog
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Saturday, August 15, 2015
August 15, 2015 at 07:56AM
Getting ready to play a game, I read the instructions, start to tell her what to do and she interrupts me and tells me, "I know, you put it with the dots facing up." I say, "Yeah, how did you know?" Her answer? "Because I'm awesome." 😂 from Facebook
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Saturday, August 8, 2015
#hawaiipacifichealth #uhahealth #betterhealthbetterlife #oahuheartwalk #monsterblog
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Took a short cut because she wanted her apple lol #betterhealthbetterlife #nofilter #uhahealth #oahuheartwalk #monsterblog
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Monday, August 3, 2015
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
#bff besties 💜 #friendsforkeeps #girls #love #luckylivehawaii #monster #nofilter #monsterblog
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Sunday, July 5, 2015
Friday, July 3, 2015
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Monday, June 15, 2015
Quick visit with the #hilo fam at #HNL on their way to Toronto and LV. #monsterblog @cayla.esp
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Tuesday, June 9, 2015
English muffin pizzas for dinner. Cheese. Pepperoni. And sundried tomato, basil and garlic. #yum #homemade #nomnom #monsterblog
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Hanging out in the neighborhood. #fun #friendsforkeeps #girls #monster #nofilter #monsterblog
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Thursday, June 4, 2015
Finished the teacher gifts for tomorrow's fun fair slash farewell. #homemade #monsterblog
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Saturday, May 30, 2015
May 30, 2015 at 08:21AM
Going through the mail and #monster asks if there's any for her. I give her what looks like junk mail addressed to resident. She opens it, and is excited by the SASE included. Then she finds there's also $5! Kid scored. Then I tell her that money isn't a toy so we'll put it in her bank later. And I say, "Careful not to lose that, that's a lot of money." And she goes, "No it's not. That's just a little money." 😐 from Facebook
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Sunday, May 24, 2015
Saturday, May 9, 2015
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Saturday, March 14, 2015
This sassy #monster is the light of my world. #monsterblog #latergram
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Monday, February 9, 2015
She's fair skinned but she's definitely #flip. #filipinosquat #monster #monsterblog
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Sunday, February 1, 2015
February 01, 2015 at 08:38AM
Monster (to Alex): Could I marry you when I grow up? Alex (inaudible): [some version of no] Monster: Then who could I marry? ...How about I marry Elmo? from Facebook
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Saturday, January 17, 2015
Loungin around this Saturday mornin with my little #monster. #monsterblog
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Sunday, January 11, 2015
January 11, 2015 at 07:56AM
Early morning conversation with the Monster..she suddenly started talking about some mommies at Halloween. And how they're wrapped in band aids. [Super confused at this point.] And some are wrapped in paper. [Still puzzled.] Frustrated, she insists, "The MOMMIES! At Hallo-WEEEEN." Ohhhhhhh. The mummies. :) from Facebook
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Friday, January 2, 2015
January 02, 2015 at 06:54PM
Monster: I don't WANT to go to school on Monday! Me: But if you don't go to school how will you learn and be smart? Monster: I don't need to go to school I'm smart already. LOL! from Facebook
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