Happy One Week Birthday!

Dear Isabella,

Today you are one week old! What a week it has been! Getting to know you in the hospital was a nice adventure. I was still healing - oh boy that delivery really took it out of me. I was sore in all kinds of places, my hip hurt from pushing (or falling, we're not sure) so much that they sent a physical therapist to help me, and I felt so frustrated being so helpless - your Daddy had to help me to do everything, even just sitting up in bed! We had lots of visitors. So many people had been so anxious to meet you after all these months! You had quite the fan club. Uncle Jeremy was so happy that you came early! He had to go to Afghanistan on the 10th and he's going to be gone one whole year, so he was really hoping to be able to meet you before he left.

We were excited to bring you home - I was nervous too. And that first day and night was really, really hard. In the hospital you had been nursing really well, but when we brought you home you did not want to have anything to do with it! And you were so hungry and upset! You cried and cried and cried and we didn't know what to do. We called Grandma and Grandpa Nick and they came to help us, and we also called your pediatrician. You cried almost with no stopping for hours! All afternoon! And I could tell by how you were acting that you were so hungry! But you wouldn't nurse. I cried a lot that day - I didn't know how to make you feel better. Finally around 5pm the pediatrician told us to just give you one ounce of formula to tide you over and make sure you didn't get dehydrated. I was devastated! But she assured us that giving you just this little bit of formula from a bottle wouldn't make you never want to nurse again. Daddy went and got formula and also got a pump for me so I could still simulate nursing. He was really worried too.

Finally we got you to calm down and you finally got some rest. The next couple of days were definitely all about learning. Learning how to feed you the way you wanted, learning how to get you to sleep (we're actually still learning that...), learning how to change your diaper quickly, and learning your schedule (just when we figure it out we realize you don't really have one). Boy oh boy me and Daddy have been so tired. The days just blend together. Thank goodness for your Grandma though - she has been staying with us a lot of nights because Daddy had to go back to work on Sunday. My doctor gave us strict orders that I must get more sleep, so Grandma has been helping at night so much so that I can sleep in between your feedings.

Daddy comes home from a long night at work and feeds you and changes you too, if Grandma's not here. And when he comes home in the afternoon he takes over so I can rest a little (but there's always so many chores!). We take turns. He's just such a good Daddy. Everyone loves you so much, so even though it's hard and tiring work, we all feel so good when you're happy and content. You've been having tummy troubles, and I'm trying to figure out if it's something I'm eating that is making you have so much trouble, but I feel so sad when you're so unhappy. We have figured out that when your tummy hurts it feels good for you to sleep face down on our chest. We can't put you in the crib or bassinet that way because you might suffocate. So some nights, Daddy and I take turns sleeping with you on our chests - even if we can sleep when you sleep, it gets pretty uncomfortable to not be able to move or turn on our sides! But it's worth it, if that's the only way your tummy can feel okay enough for you to sleep. Also, you overheat really easily. So we have you in our bedroom a lot, where there's air conditioning, especially in the late afternoon when it's the hottest.

We also discovered you love sleeping in your car seat. So there are lots of pictures of you in there. It feels kind of silly to have you in there so much, but if it makes you happy then that's what we'll do!

Another thing that works is swaddling you. We all just can't get it right in terms of swaddling you with a blanket, but luckily Grandma brought a swaddling cloth that Aunty Debbie and Uncle Kevin gave us that Nya used to use, and we use that a lot. You hate it at first when we wrap you up (like a little Bean burrito!) because you love to have your hands free, but once we finish wrapping you, you're much happier. But you are so stubborn, because like Houdini, you manage to wriggle your hands up to your face eventually and we have to start all over.

You also make the funniest faces when you're just falling asleep. I love just watching you. I could stare at you for hours - if there wasn't so much other stuff to do! And you make the funniest noises. You randomly make this little squeak, and make the cutest cooing noises, and just recently you started sort of snorting like a tiny horse when you are lying on my chest - you'll breathe in deeply and then snort out the air. You sneeze a lot too but the doctor said it's nothing.

To celebrate your one week birthday Daddy took us to Zippy's for lunch. We used to go to the same Zippy's after almost every doctor's appointment while I was pregnant. It's like a tradition now. Lucky us, Daddy worked from home today - hopefully he can do that as often as possible for the day-times. At Zippy's all the waitresses said how cute you are. You really are so adorable, my little girl, and so pretty. I'm so proud of you.

The past week has been probably one of the hardest weeks I've ever had, Isabella, but also one full of the happiest little moments. Every time I start to feel overwhelmed or like I'm doing a terrible job, I look at you, and touch you, and I know that if I can be strong for you, I have been given the best gift in the whole entire history of the world - YOU! I always believed other mommies when they said that the love you feel for your child is indescribable, unbelievably deep, and like nothing you've ever felt or experienced in your life. But now I know it, really really know it - I love you so much it hurts! In a good way though. It's the most joyful feeling and the most scary feeling in the world. I'm so scared of how much I love you - and even though it's not even possible to love you more, I do love you more every day! We have many, many weeks ahead of us to keep getting to know each other and I know that as I get more and more familiar with your little (but strong!) personality, I will keep loving you more and more. I can't wait!

Love you always and forever,
Mommy